I've been thinking a lot lately about influence.
People often tell me that I'm a woman of influence.
For example, I often say things (silly phrases or words) and
I talk with my hands a lot, in fact, I generally use my whole body to
communicate - arms, legs, face, and voice. Most often, people can read me like
a book - I'm just sort of open and out there - a raw heart, with a whole lot of
flavor.
Sometimes this gets me in trouble though - and I used to battle the lie that I
was too much. But I've realized
that's absurd, and people often repeat things that I say...it's only a matter of
time. I often joke with my family and friends, "come on...you know I'm
contagious!" The more I think about it, the more I kinda love the idea of being
contagious, infectious, a woman of impression.
I've been working at a children's/group home (with teenage mothers, teenagers
placed here by the state, as well as some younger kiddos and babies.) Needless
to say, I'm constantly thinking about the "influence" I leave people with. Am I
leaving an impression on hearts that is deep, loving, and Kingdom worthy?
Do my words, actions, and thoughts honor the Lord? When
people look at me, do they see Jesus? Do they hear Him? Do they feel Him? Cause
they should! And I want them to! So what's my influence? What's your influence?
If you've ever spent any length of time around kids, be it 5
minutes or 20, or days, or weeks, etc, you'll quickly notice that kids are
really sharp. They're perceptive, and have this ridiculous ability to read
people's character. They mimic almost everything you say and do - and are quick
learners. They are studiers of the people around them and their environments.
They experiment with everything. They touch, taste, swallow, chew, and ask,
just to know things. They get excited when they draw a picture, learn someone's
name, or attempt a cartwheel.
If you hop like a kangaroo, they will too.
If you clap your
hands and dance during worship, they will too.
If you sing, "doot do dooo",
they will too.
Their memories are ridiculous as well. They remember that
one time you gave them a piece of candy and exactly where your stash is. They
remember that whenever you see them, your arms are open, and if they run to
you, you'll scoop them up. They remember that silly face you taught them, and
show you every time you see them.
Impression. Influence.
Tonight I went to visit one of our little girl's houses for
a quick minute. I was dropping off some pictures I took of the 8th
grade prom for one of the girls, and another was on the phone with her Daddy. I
waved hello and headed downstairs to the kitchen to drop off the pictures. As I
was walking up the stairs I heard, "Yeah Dad, she was in Chambodia. She went
there. To Chambodia."
...to back this up briefly: Yesterday I came by the house and brought each of the girls
a couple of bracelets made from reeds/bamboo that I got from a little girl in
Cambodia. You see, this particular house of girls has found a sweet place in my
heart. To me, they look more and more like Jesus every day. The day before I
left to debrief A-squad, these little girls came by my office, laid hands on me
and prayed. "God please be with the boys and girls in Cambodia." "Jesus bless
Miss Christy and her trip." "God let Miss Christy be a good time on her trip."
"Be with Christy and Phillip" "God be with the people that Christy leads, and
help them to all have a really good trip in Cambodia." Each word was sweet to
my heart...and it left an impression. We talked for 45 minutes after that about
Cambodia, and the nations, and God's love. So needless to say, I wanted to
bring these girls something to remind them of this place, and God's heart for
them and the kids in Cambodia they prayed for.
She was telling her dad about me. Why?
Impression. Influence.
When she saw me reach the top of the stairs, she handed off
the phone to her sister and ran to give me a hug. "Miss Christy, my mom is
sick." she said very matter of fact, looking at me with curious eyes. "I'm
sorry to hear that sweetheart. How is she sick?" "She's on medicine that isn't
working really good and she feels bad, she's really sick." "Awh I'm so sorry.
That's not good." (Pause...she keeps looking at me, until I finally clue in.)
"Hey sweetheart, do you want to pray for your Mom?" She lit up a little, "Yes
m'am! Yes! I do. How about you pray and I'll pray, okay!?" I agreed.
She stepped back for a minute and then put her hands on my
shoulders, "let's pray like this Miss Christy." She'd asked me to go first, but
once our hands were on each other's shoulder she started to fervently pray for
her mother, and I followed. There was something so intense, sweet, and powerful
in the middle of that living room happening. Heaven was invading earth in that
very moment - through this little girl's deep faith in God.
So why did she ask me to pray?
Impression. Influence.
The Lord hit me deep with this truth tonight. I do that.
These things that these kids have been doing - skipping, making silly faces,
wanting to pray by putting hands on people...they're doing those things - because
they've watched it done, and see something in it, and now it's part of who they
are. What!?
I decided to look up the definition of "influence".
Dangerous! Check it out:
"the capacity to have
an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something..."
Do you want to know what you look like? Look at the people
around you.
Do you want to know what you sound like? Listen to the
people around you.
Do you want to know what's inside you? Spend sometime with
kids and they'll reflect it really well.
Influence...it's rocking my world right now. I think about the
people that have so influenced me, the moments, the conversations, the
feedback, the love, the impressions. I want to leave a legacy and nothing short
of that...I want people in my life to know that when they stand in front of me
and say something that's near and dear to their heart that I'll ask them to
pray - and that we'll put hands on each other and agree together that God is
our healer. I want people in my life to embrace and delight in the silly things
I say, and when they repeat them, to be reminded of the overflow of love that's
in my heart for life, the Kingdom, and them! I am blown away at how Christ works in and through us - how He speaks, His breath, His character. Jesus is ridiculous, downright ridiculous! He's impacting the kiddos on this campus and it makes me wanna shout + sing + dance! So good, so sooo good!
(p.s- I have several blogs from my time in Cambodia coming soon! and pictures, woo! Also, an update on support! Thanks for your faithful reading, commenting, prayers, and love. Stay tuned!!)
As A-squad finishes their month of ministry in Thailand, and we prepare to meet up for month 8 debrief in Cambodia, my heart has wandered to a number of places. All month long, my heart has been remembering, dreaming of, and pondering Thailand...and every other nation I've stepped foot in. It seems like just yesterday I was walking those very same streets in Phuket - talking with the bar girls on Bangla Road, and crying out to God to bring the rain over this place. It's all still so fresh in my mind, my heart, my reality. Even though I don't see these very things every day, they have left their impression - and that impression is deep.
I can still taste that stiffling smell that crawls out of the gutters on Bangla Road late at night.
I can still hear the pounding of the various radio hit songs, blasting so loud people can barely think.
I can still smell the liquor on my friend Gun's breath who's slowly, slurringly telling me about her day.
I can still see the look in that man's eyes who sat at the bar, and curiously asked me to play a match of chess.
I can still see that glass box where the Russian girls danced, numb and dead to the world, dying to get out.
I can still see that couple who just rented a girl for God only knows what.
I can still smell the sadness, the insecurity, and brokenness on every man's breath that walked that street.
I can still see the smiles of our bar girl friends the day we brought them Easter surprises.
I can still hear their giggles, the day we took them out to lunch + they actually came.
I can still feel the wetness of the Songkran festivities.
I can still remember how much we bonded with our Thai sisters that night.
I can still hear the worship rising up that night on the beach in Phuket...declaring freedom!
I can still...remember it all...
and I know that even though I'm not there, Jesus is crazy about His daughters and sons, that He is with them!
And it moves beyond the bars and people of Bangla Road...into Malaysia, Nepal, India, Moldova, Romania, Haiti, the Dominican Republic, the Czech Republic, Malawi, the Philippines, South Africa, Mozambique, Kenya...and so on. Their faces are real. Their stories are so true. They have names. They have faces. Their voices have a sound. Their eyes have color. There is life. They have family. They laugh. They cry. They are worthy.
Tuesday morning I hop on a plane and head to Siem Reap, Cambodia for the week...
Cambodia. A nation I've never set foot in, but always been curious about. In middle school I had a good friend who was adopted from Cambodia. Her name was Sarah. Socially she was pretty stand-offish and took awhile to trust people. I remember thinking she was so cool because her skin was way darker than mine, and because she came from the other 1/2 of the world. I knew that one day I wanted to go there - and help other little girls like Sarah. She never talked much about living in Cambodia, but if I remember right, she did until she was 5. I remember her talking about them being a poor people, and that sometimes when she thought about her home, it made her sad. It made me sad to see my friend sad, so we usually ended these discussions and ran to play outside in the snow, or with our latest piece of jewelry or toy....but tonight I remember that expression...that dulling, wondering, saddened expression that swept over my friends face when she spoke of her homeland.
My heart has always wondered...
I don't know what God has in store, but I trust that He has some things to speak to my heart, and reveal to these eyes. My heart is curious about this nation - and burdened for these people I've never met...for the countless number of people who are trafficked there, and enslaved in their own homes, towns, and communities, by cultural norms that deem them as items, enslaved or stuck in old ways, instead of people.
One World Racer from B-squad, Brandon Boyd writes about his time in Cambodia saying this: "Asia is also the center for human trafficking. It is absolutely mind
blowing what happens almost unchecked. It has become so normal. Cambodia
really stole my heart in this way. This is where my eyes were open to
horrifying truth. Asia has so many sexual strongholds, but in Cambodia
they have infected the culture. It is normal for the men there to buy
sex every day. In fact young men are encouraged to get practice in
before they marry. Sexual molestation by parents is normal. You might
actually even see young boys being fondled in public when they start
crying to get them to stop. Girls are sold as young as five for sex and
babies are sold as commodities to become slaves. Don't get me wrong,
there are so many amazing people, but the country is in a war for its
life and God is about to pour out His Spirit in an extremely powerful
way. It is going to be good."
This nation needs your PRAYERS.
These people need HOPE. They need REST. They need LOVE.
They need the PURITY and FREEDOM of Christ to come and rest over their nation, in invade their hearts.
Pray for the people of Cambodia. Pray for the many that A-squad will interact with this month.
Pray for our time of debrief, and the many divine encounters God has in store that we don't even know yet.
Pray for the stories to be told...the stories that will awaken this generation, the stories yet to be written!
So tonight I was talking with one of my favorite ladies, Miss Rachel Ridings. She told me that one of our women was on her way into town to pick up two Thai women who have chosen to leave the bar girl positions. What a testimony of our Daddy's goodness and His hand at work in the dark places on Bangla Road.
After hearing this testimony, my heart was full, and I spent a few minutes watching a video my women put together this month during their time in Thailand. Not only has God been using them to speak life and truth and light into the lives of countless people, but into one another as well. I'm so proud of these women. I seriously love the mess out of them.This video is very raw, real, and vulnerable. Watch it, and be encouraged, that when we are with our Daddy, our innocence is restored.
Pray for A-squad. Pray for the women of Bangla Road...God is at work!
(Check this, a little poem I'd written on my i-pod notes from March 1st...the part marked in bold is almost word for word what the Lord spoke to me the other night + happened on the run I spoke of in my previous blog. Jesus is ridiculous + always prepares our hearts!)
Who knew I'd never truly tasted wild,
til' I was deep in your presence,
a bold dancing child?!
The day that I saw you, my eyes urged to flee...
but as I looked nearer, I found your gaze upon me.
The other day I was running at the track - and I came to this conclusion: sometimes running is SO boring! It really is. I mean, think about it. You pound pavement for mystery amount of time, and your body isn't necessarily willing to cooperate everyday. Sometimes running is fun though. Especially when you hit the sweet spot or have a running buddy. Running in the rain is my favorite - but outside of extreme weather, people, and chasing a soccer ball full force down the pitch, I honestly find it really boring. I've also discovered recently that I can get easily distracted while running....
A pretty bird. A sunset. A cool noise. A giggling child. A bright color. A giant spider. Wild flowers. You name it - and *zing* my attention likely acknowledges it. On sunshiny days, when the sun hits the ground just right - you know the sunshine beams that just soak into your skin...Awh man, it's sooo tempting to stop and just stand there. I'm not gonna lie, I usually do. I mean, who feels like running, when you can stand in sunshine that feels so good!? This also seems to distract from my running...terrible idea, when trying to re-train post-World Race lungs.
I decided to give myself some accountability in this running-gig, so I'm running a 5k at the end of the month. The days are creeping closer and closer...and while some of you may think "Really, it's just a 5k, you could just wake up and run one of those." True, but is that the healthiest idea? I'm pretty sure your body will hate you for a couple days after. So I run.
Today I didn't want to run.
Then all of a sudden I was desperate to run.
"Jesus, I really need you to teach me how to run..."
I didn't hear much of anything in response, so I laced up my sweet kicks and hit the pavement.
I put on some colorful music and was determined to really RUN.
The words were inspiring, full of dreaming, passion, and spice.
Less than a mile into this night's running expedition, I thought I'd met my demise. Double-wammy baby!! Sunshine + flowers. We're talkin, it was reflecting brilliantly on these huge, vibrant, rich purple flowers overlooking the pond. I definitely stopped...but when I did something struck me tonight. I snapped a quick picture and ran off. Strange. I never run off...but that word, that word I heard as I stood there just a moment watching the flowers. "Royalty." Woah...that shook me a bit. "Christy, you've been trying to adorn yourself for too long. Let me." I knew what that meant...but I decided not to think about it.
I began to ponder my thoughts from earlier, 'How in the world am I going to learn how to run?" I thought it'd probably be a good idea to wrap this thing up early tonight. That was the comfortable choice, but something happened. Something rose up in me - and I fled to the end of our driveway, picking up my stride. "Christy, all you need to do is tell your heart to run to me...the rest of you knows what to do..." I started to turn back up the road, and then quickly exited the property and headed a few more miles down the road. I felt like a crazy woman. Running has been so boring for me lately. Why did it feel so right, now?
And then I realized what had taken me to this place...
Today I began singing a deep deep heart-song: "...I've come to the end of myself, but Jesus, you know me!"
The more I think about it, the more I want to cry. With these words something opened up in me. Today as I let these words seep into my deepest heart-chambers, this song welled up and came out in words I could actually sing. It ached, but was so true. It was sobering. It was sweet. It was wrenching. Lately I've been on the verge of tears, or explosions of laughter, always. I even stated in the office the other day "I have two options right now - be ridiculous or cry. Looks like I'm doing both." The Lord's just been processing things through my heart and I just wanna stand there and scream "AhhhhhhhH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sometimes I just wanna stomp my feet. Sometimes I just wanna throw a tantrum. Running can be so boring...but not when it's toward His heart.
So what if things seem "IMPOSSIBLE". What does that even mean? Why live a life believing things are impossible, if we serve a God in whom ALL things are possible. Not some, not a couple, not just one...ALL! So what if it feels impossible to think that my student loans will get paid off this year?!? I believe it! So what if I don't have the human capacity to give these kids what they need, and fix their hearts? Jesus can. I feel helpless sometimes, its like people actually believe that seeing healing happen in their lives is impossible - but it's NOT! So what if waiting for my husband is harder than I expected, I choose to praise God for preparing his heart, and mine in this time! Why not believe impossible things, when the God who speaks them is all-powerful!! Goodness! His time-lines never look like ours, but they are always best. He's a promise keeper, always, always!
My boss recently prompted me with these two questions, "What makes you sad? What makes you mad?" At first I thought, "Really? That's easy." But it wasn't as easy as I first thought. He followed up by saying, "the answers to those questions are what you're passionate about." So as I've been pounding the pavement, I've been stewing over this thought every day, "Dear Christy, what the heck are you passionate about?!?!" Don't worry, I know the answers to that question. Most of me is too scared to actually let myself feel it fully - to actually vocalize what happens to my heart when I think about it. I've been asking all these questions, and my heart has felt so much resistance, it's felt like pushing up against a brick wall. I'm tired. I'm at the end of myself...
but Jesus, He knows me.
Tonight I hit the sweet spot...
For those of you who run, you know when you hit the sweet spot. Your legs tell the rest of you not to worry, they'll just go forever...and they, in many ways, do. Tonight I hit the sweet spot because Jesus adorned me, instead of myself. I felt weightless. I found the rhythm. I was shell-less. With every step of pounding the pavement, I felt the shell, and weight of what was - being lifted off, being shed. Today my heart is naked. It's raw, and it's probably more tender that I'd like to admit.
My heart muscles ache.
But I'm okay with that, it means there's more growth to be had...
There are deeper places, sweeter places, greater intimacy, greater depth, more stretching...
Jesus be my stride...naked I run!
Believe for impossible things with me friends! Believe and be blown away!
Run to His heart, find the sweet spot. Run naked! You CAN do it...it doesn't have to be so boring.
Phillip Henry, my co-leader for A-squad is in need of some support.
In less than a month we will be flying to Cambodia for A-SQUAD's month 8 debrief.
Phillip still needs funds to make it there!
As squad-leaders, we have been with these people since their first day of training camp. Because of that, we have a unique opportunity to tangibly see how they've grown and blossomed into more of the men/women they are in Christ. We have the ability to speak into their lives, their hearts, and their journey. Why? Because we've walked this journey out with them. One thing I know for sure, is that God isn't finished with A-squad, and they need people to come + remind them of the greatness within - they need people to tell them what they look like - and how far they've come!!
Phillip is a man who called out a SHOUT in every man on A-squad.
Would you consider supporting his way to Cambodia, so He can raise up a shout with our men??
Visit http://philhenry.theworldrace.org and click on the "support me" tab to donate!
Here are just 5 reasons why you should support this man:
1. Phillip is crazy about A-squad, and our people miss him.
2. This man's heart for our men is ridiculous! He's called them into a deep brotherhood.
3. Phillip is a magnet in overseas countries. Everywhere I've seen this man go, people are drawn to him.
4. His heart is contagious + A-squad could use a little of that poured out to finish their last months strong!
5. Whatever you invest in this man, I promise you is multiplied 10-fold in the nations He enters.
Phillip is a man of IMPRESSION. He's left an impression on A-squad, and every person he's ever met.
By supporting Phillip you are not only supporting some guy who wants to go to Cambodia to see his squad -
you are sewing into nations, a generation of young men and women of boldness who will change the world.
You are sewing into Kingdom! DONATE TODAY!! We send you many thanks in advance for your generosity!
Breathing deeply, breathing rich,
Feel your whisper touch my lips.
Breath of God come down in full,
Breath of God stir up greater still.
Fill these lungs with a mighty shout,
Louder, louder, til' they have no doubt...
Love, where is your promise?
Hope, where are your eyes?
Heart, where is your rhythm?
Voice, where is your sound?
Spirit, where is your movement?
Mind, what do you hear?
Purpose, where are you going?
Being, know that you are here.
Breathing deeply, breathing rich,
Feel your whisper touch my lips.
Your word is graven on this heart,
Such purposeful, heavenly, works of art.
I'll stand, I'll kneel, I'll weep, I'll sing.
Your love song to every nation, this child shall bring.
Breathing deeply, breathing rich,
I feel your whisper touch my lips.
Can't stand still, and can't hold back.
I'm responsible now, for what I have seen.
I can't just disappear and forget what they need.
Breath of God come down in full,
Breath of God stir up greater still.
For those of you who don't know, I recently, within the last month re-located to Macon, Georgia and began working at Hephzibah Children's Home. During college I had an opportunity to serve here for 6 months, and upon returning home, the staff and community here pursued me and asked about me joining them for a season. The Lord made it pretty clear that He was inviting me to invest in these people for a season, and that if I was faithful in doing this, He would honor my time. Seems like a pretty great deal to me! So I came...unsure of what lay ahead, certain that no matter what, Jesus is the promise.
Since returning home from squad-leading in mid-January, I've been walking in a season of ridiculous favor, and every time God shows up and provides, speaks, or just is, He promises that it's just a taste. He's blown my mind with how He's been lavishing His provision and presence over me. It's been extraordinary. One would think that a season like this is always worthy of being celebrated, and this, of course is very true. Unfortunately, my attitude hasn't consistently been one of thanks - and I've found myself frustrated that the Lord has me in this season of feeling a little isolated and alone.
For those of you who know me best, you know that I love people - I love sharing things with people, talking with people, just BEING around people. I also like to process with people. Quiet time is great and all, but man oh man, offer me a walk and a sweet chat with a friend and I'm totally in. The women on my squad, a few in particular (Rachel Ridings) spoke a season of 'Selah' over me...that God would quiet me with His love...and He absolutely has. If Jesus has made one thing abundantly clear to me in this season, it's been that He is jealous for me, and just wants to spend time with me. He wants to speak into my heart, and to put it in the words of a dear friend, "He doesn't want anyone else in the woods with you". A few examples of this have looked a little like:
1) Having obscene amounts of time alone the first 3 weeks I was home off the field. No car to drive, no one I knew in the new state my parents relocated to, and a whole lot of what appeared to be nothing.
2) When I moved to Georgia, I suddenly went from "girl who's lived out of a backpack for 2 years" to "lady that has a 3 bedroom apartment...all to herself. What!??
3) The Lord asked me to relocate to an area where there aren't a lot of young adult oriented ministries to get poured into through...at least not the type I'm used to - and it seems like He's asking me daily to just trust Him - with every aspect: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, social...
I truly cannot complain. As I look outside my window, I'm greeted by the panes of fresh Georgia sunshine, dancing across the vibrant Japanese cherry-blossom trees. The new pine-cones are budding on the pines near by, and the trill of a new springtime song is on the tongue of every bird. My backyard is acre upon acre of forest, complete with small trails, and beautiful flowers. A pond with geese lies just around the bend, and I can't help but think I'm the noisiest thing here...and I'm all by myself!!!
One of the opportunities I have here at Hephzibah is to invest in the lives of young boys and girls who come from tough home situations. This is a group-home environment, we are desperately seeking to make more of a family. Just the other day I took the littlest girls on a bike-ride. They'd been begging me all weekend, so we set a time, after school to meet up...and like all excursions with little girls we had a few snags before take-off. Someone's chain came off...someone else forgot their favorite bracelet, and everyone's helmets were too tight (a.k.a- no one wanted to mess up their hair). We finally got everyone situated and adjusted, and we were off...so I thought. Our littlest one, she's 6, called out to me "Miss Christy, wait for me!!" I turned to watch her wobbling on her training wheels...which hovered a good 2 inches off the ground. Left and right, her weight shifted to one plastic wheel at a time until the inevitable happened....SPLAT!!!!
I quickly jumped off my bike and fled to her side. A few little scrapes on the knee and a dozen or so crocodile tears...she was shaken up, but confident. She wanted to ride that bike - she didn't care how, but she was determined. "Sweetie, I think we're gonna have to take your training wheels off. Those are what made you fall." "I don't want to..." "Well sweetie, we have to if you're gonna ride. They're not even touching the ground. I know you're brave enough to do this." "Okay..." she reluctantly agreed. The other girls did laps around the once accident scene, now make-shift mechanic shop as we removed the training wheels. The moment they came off, I watched her face fill with an excitement, but that was quickly washed away by fear. "NoooOoooo!! Nooooo! I can't do it. I want them back..."
"We can't put them back sweetie, you can't ride with them. Trust me, you've been riding without them the whole time...and now we took them off officially so they don't get in the way of you riding." We went back and forth for some time, and she continued to pout , insisting that she absolutely could not ride this bike without training wheels. What she didn't see what how much of a hindrance they were to her...but I knew no matter how long I fought her on it, she wasn't going to believe me until she could believe it for herself. I decided to give her options. I told her she was brave and could choose to ride the bike because we all knew she could, or she could stay back while everyone else rode. She wouldn't budge, determined not to get on that bike, gripped by fear and the false perception that she simply couldn't ride without her phantom training wheels.
So I left her with her house parent and took the other girls while she pouted. We were gone for about 20 minutes...making our final ascent up the hill to the houses, I heard a loud shriek followed by "Look Miss Christy! Look!! I'm ridin' my bike!" I looked up and I watched amazed as this little girl coasted down the hill to meet me. Grinning ear to ear, she insisted that she was now a professional bike rider, and she definitely didn't need training wheels, she was brave enough to ride on her own! We did the happy dance and everyone celebrated this pivotal and very memorable moment. The crocodile tears were now merely a thing of the past. As we made it to the straight-away, she had one final surprise for me. "Watch this Miss Christy...I can ride without lookin'!!!" She was serious. As I watched her close her eyes and pedal, I chuckled to myself realizing I'd just watched this little one self-promote herself from scardey-cat to wild-child in a matter of minutes.
...and then it struck me: How often do I let the fear of riding without training wheels hold me back? How often do I ride with unnecessary training wheels, when really their removal from my life would only make me a better rider? How many times have I insisted I can't ride because I don't know any different than simply shifting weight from the right to the left and back to the right, baring down on things that aren't a sure foundation? How often do we crash because we're leaning on our own understanding, and not riding as freely as we should? God reminded me though this little girl, that there comes a time when the training wheels of our heart have to be taken off...where we have to ride the bike we've been riding all along - without safe-guards. The safe-guards we try to put on ourselves only make us wobble and impede our ability to ride with the speed, stamina, and trust we need to.
I love riding my bicycle. I love that you can hop on something with two tiny wheels and a frame and just hit the road. I love that the wind carries you along, and that you're totally exposed...soaring along. I love the freedom, I love the risk. So who's done with training wheels? This girl is! In a season where things are uncertain from human perspective, I hold to the truth that they make perfect sense to my Heavenly Father. In a place where God is daily whisking me away into greater depths of His heart, I trust and cling to the hope that He has more to teach me - and that His promises will come to pass. A heart completely open, raw, and exposed. Unhindered by training wheels...it's time to ride free!!
Remember this rowdy bunch of 43 people I started a journey with last June? It was training camp and they were just getting started. We launched in September...traveled throughout Romania, Moldova, Nepal, and India. After debriefing in Kenya, my co-leader and I flew back to America, and the squad headed on to Tanzania. Wild with anticipation of all the greatness God had in store for them in the deep heart of Africa, A-squad began the mid-way portion of their World Race journey.
I've been reading their stories, catching up with photos, and hearing through e-mails the ridiculous stories of God showing up in Tanzania, Rwanda, and now Uganda. This is A-squad's final month in Africa, and the anticipation of what awaits them in Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, and Malaysia is almost to much to contain!
These men and women have had a deep, rich, life-changing impact on my heart. I wanted to invite you to get to know these people who are so dear to me, a little better. I want you to experience the things God is doing in and through A-squad --- and join me in praying, celebrating, or maybe crying a bit, as we watch the Lord shake the earth one laugh at a time!
(photo by Layne Kulhanek)
(photo by AJ LeVan)
Men and women on A-squad like Caroline Player are diving into opportunity. They are learning the value of allowing God to use their hands and feet - as His. Their hearts are being melted, expanded, broken, and made more beautiful as they love on people who have always been considered "the least of these". Whether in an orphanage, or small village, A-squad is exploding with LOVE. They are proclaiming peace, praying for healing, and watching God literally rattle all their expectations.
They are growing by LEAPS and BOUNDS. Taking risks. Opening up their hearts like never before. They are FLYING into freedom many never dreamed of tasting. So often missionaries go out into the world seeking to "change the world". One of the beautiful things is that in the process of "seeking" this, we often come to realize it's more about seeking the heart of God, and less about "doing" things. It's allowing Him to bring forth earth-shaking change through you. How does this happen? It's gotta happen inside of you first. You can only lead people to depths and heights you've been willing to go yourself. So often these very places we go expecting to pour out so much, bring us to this place of deep revelation, realizing our own hearts have been changed and poured into by the most unexpected of things!
They are growing in LOVE and truly becoming A FAMILY. One of the most essential truths A-squad is coming to recognize (and Graham Cooke says it so well,) is that, "He loves you because He loves you because He loves you, because that's just who He is!" These men and women are stepping into HEART-knowledge that they are worthy, they are FULLY loved!
These are some of my favorite men in the whole wide world. These are our male leaders on A-squad: Wes Webb, Gary Lee, Christian Roderick, and Kyle Markel. Brothers. Sons. Men. They have raised up a standard. They are marching forward as warriors, courageously loving our women and the nations with hearts of honor, respect, loyalty and strength. These men are finding new depths to their voices and shouting unto God with a voice of triumph. They are men of the Word, men who sing out with gladness. They are worshipers, and men of BOLD prayer. Their roar is shaking the land...they are reverberating!
A-squaders like Lori, are hearing the voice of God and beginning to actively speak out the things they hear Him speak. They are beginning to walk out in obedience the place places He sends them to go, and following the promptings of their hearts with boldness, courage, and great faith. God is awakening this squad with visions, dreams + their prayers are moving mountains.
The laughter of A-squad...the deep, deep belly laughs that make all of Heaven wanna giggle...are shaking the nations. They are calling forth a new sound of JOY to resound in the hearts of God's children throughout Africa...throughout the world!!
Have you ever two-stepped? Some of the most epic dance moves I've ever seen in my life have come from CHURCH services, also known affectionately as CRUSADES in Africa. It seems as though the Holy Spirit is all about being messy, dirty, wild, and free. Breaking it down in a tiny-baby-mud-hut, or the grand opens of a dirt soccer field, or maybe a concrete floor of a nearby church building...God is moving in Africa. His people are dancing: dancing their freedom, dancing their healing, dancing to express their thankfulness to God, dancing their joy, dancing their deliverance, dancing, dancing, dancing. One of my women, Loren Messarra was inspired to write a poem during worship entitled "Voices in the Dark".Feel free to jump around a bit the next time you're in worship. I promise you, it'll be unforgettably liberating!
(photo by Layne Kulhanek)
Ruth is one of the most contagious women I've ever met. She has this ability to see color all around her - in people in nature, in the Word. I gave her some water-colors for Christmas, and she's been painting with kiddos she meets in Africa. Everything about Ruth is fun, free, colorful. Her heart and desire to run after the Lord is drawing people into the Kingdom.
(photo via Vanessa Butler)
This woman was recently wrestling with the Lord about door-to-door evangelism, having to hike up hills, in the African sunshine (more affectionately known as heat) and always being dirty. She was wrestling to understand her purpose and role on her team when it came to sharing about God. Read about one house visit that changed her perspective, when "Heaven fell".
I guess you could say, I'm one proud squad-leader. Proud of these men and women. Proud of their hearts. Proud of their trials, their triumphs, their discoveries, their stories...this journey on the World Race. Pray that these next 4.5 months would be even more ridiculous than the previous 6.5. Pray that God would continue to awaken the dreams inside of them, and pour out a full measure of His spirit wherever they GO. Pray that A-squad would be shaped more in His image, and would live out a greater awareness of who they are as daughters and sons. READ THEIR STORIES (HERE), it'll CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
